We need to talk about the popular culture, which to our relief, is changing, but it still has miles to go! It’s time to talk about relationships in real life that are volta face to the ones we see in reel life!

The promises of surrendering our “self” and think of the other before we think about our happiness and sanity are pretty outdated, if you ask me.

As docile teenagers, we were awestruck by the intensity of the on-camera relationships, which always saw pastel happy endings at the stake of something dear to us. We were impressed by the endless chase of the one. We fanaticised an almost similar kind of submission from our partners in our amorous engagements. The dilution of one’s identity seems to be the biggest litmus test for compatibility.

But hey, do you think the movies set the expectations right? Let’s give ourselves a reality check different from the reel ones. It’s time to disrupt the romantic bubble you are enclosed into.

People are different, and there is no anomaly here. We have different needs, wishes and wants. And it’s okay! If we think otherwise, we are either naïve or unrealistic.

The starry nights welcoming your beloved, the flowers are being showered, melodious jazz in the background and the world coming to a still is not what we get.

Life hardly is la-la land.

This is somewhat surreal and impractical. Sorry to break your hearts, sad but true! But this definitely doesn’t mean that you don’t buy flowers or take your partners for a romantic getaway. Do that! That’s love but also try to find tokens of love in the daily lifestyle too.

These escapes to get out of mundane existence might seem extraordinarily thrilling but are devoid of ratiocination.

What we need to understand is that love is beyond all these exaggerated ideas. It is that genuine feeling of comfort in someone’s presence—a sense of respect for a person’s achievement, loyalty, understanding and friendship. We need not depict it with surreal connotation; else, it will become an unattainable ideal. There are some basic ideas we need to consider!

Sharing Toothbrush?

It sounds quite unhygienic, right? In a relationship, one needn’t feel tempted to be a part of every single thing. It’s quite toxic and gets over exhaustive for your partner when you become intrusive in deciding their friend circle. If you don’t give them space, they will feel suffocated and will feel unhappy in the relationship.

Don’t Take Them for Granted

It’s essential to communicate your feelings and express your love. Acknowledge your shortcomings and work on them. Try to keep improving your relationship; there is always room for growth.

Do things for your partners that make them happy, and do things that make you happy as well. It would bring a sense of warmth, comfort and make them feel desirable. It would nurture the relationship and protect it from losing vitality.

No sacrifice of self

You can help your partner overcome the problems of life, but you are not a rehabilitation centre where they could unlodge their toxicity. Sheer submission and lack of self-identity leave you frustrated from within. You can help someone heal only when you are in the right headspace.

Agree to disagree

Ideological differences should be considered with respect. They exhibit your uniqueness, and the desire to fuse your partner into yourself is an abominable idea.

So what you need to understand is don’t fall in love, rise in love, and stay in love. Love exists as we perceive, and the romantic notions are just meant to deceive.

Last but not least, the secret to a healthy relationship is healthy boundaries. Create and communicate boundaries with your partner because you two want to be together for a lifetime, and it’s going to help you long term!

The bottom line

The real and reel life is different. Let’s be mindful that we are humans, and we need to keep growing, be it our personal or professional life.

If you need help to navigate your relationship, contact us and talk to globally accredited therapists.